| | in the past 3 years at Cal. i've really sacrificed a lot. i gave up a lot of things in life which i really enjoy doing and picked up many things which i hate to do. for what purpose, needless to say, just like anyone else who is suffering at this place. i always believe that "no pain, no gain". but when the judgement day comes closer, i realized all i have is pain, where the hell is the "gain" part? my friends consider me as a confident person, yes, im proud of my academic achievement; im proud of my social skills; im proud of my leadership experiences... but reality beats me up so bad and forces me to doubt about myself. what have i actually done? is trying hard actually gonna get me anywhere? i am mature enough to know that when i fall down, i need to get up, wipe the mud on my face, start over and try harder. it's just really difficult to keep myself motivated after so many failures or when i can't see any result after hard working. i got this line from my fortune cookie today at dinner "the fortune will come to you at the end of the day". when is the end of the day? when im 70? that's probably a little bit too late. i hate to be frustrated and depressed about life; it makes everything in my eyes become gray and hopeless. |
| | Posted 10/16/2004 12:49 AM - 18 Views - 6 eProps - 3 comments
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